Hiding place for Chris L's thoughts
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Okay...I'll post up some more pictures later...cause i gotta learn how to shrink them down
But a recap of the retreat...
It was a really great experience...You know how you think sometimes that your walk with God is stable and that you're mature as a Christian...and then you realize that there are newer levels that you can still reach and you know that you're still far from being the worshipper God wants you to be.
The worship on the second night was just absolutely amazing!!!
Day 1 - My day of crankiness
My car got there first...out of all the people that left on time together. Just because I got skillz...and the P-I-Gs (I will explain later) were in my car. Anyhow, I was in the Red Team for group games and my teammates consist of Evangeline, Jessica Kao, Sharon, J Li, Johnson, Aaron, and Nicolle. Our first group game at the retreat was to put part of a 1000 piece puzzle together. I was so frustrated with the team at that time cause not only were we dead last, but the team that finished right before us finished it like 20 minutes before we did. Then after our subway dinner, we got to see the crazy Josiah Chan and Dennis Liu battle it out with the rhymes. That was pretty funnie...from now on, there is nothing that Dennis can do to surprise me anymore. I've seen that guy dress up as a girl, rap, break dance, pick up poop, etc. After all that craziness, we had our speaker Mark Maki come speak...he was aight...then we played another icebreaker, in which the team has to transport a piece of candy across and back with a straw in their mouths...we lost again...I was about to blow up...and then we had to plan for our talent show too, and we had nothing after sitting there for 45 min. thinking. And then those college girls from the cottage wouldn't go sleep...so I had to wait for them to turn off their lights and quiet down, cause I was the enforcer...along with the amazing J. Chang. But man, it was so hella hot up there on the second floor. I was about to evaporate in my sleep that night.
Oh yeah, I forgot...Sarah clogged the toilet that night...for more, you can check out Steph's blogger to learn more about Sarah being the clogger.
Day 2
Everyone from the guy's dorms woke up before 7 (with the exception of Joe Ko) cause Oliver woke up the whole world at 6:30. Then everywhere just kinda went along schedule until the group games that afternoon...when me and evangeline went out to seek revenge from the embarassment on the first night. Evenutually, we got top 3 in almost every game that we played that afternoon and we saw the emergence of Sharon Liao in Apples to Apples...that girl is crazy...dissing people left and right...hehe. You're a cool chick, Sharon.
And then we finally thought of a cool skit to do for our talent show...It was a total group effort.
In our free time, 15 or so of us walked down to Lake Arrowhead to see the lake and so that the girls can buy pads...but then we never knew it was such a long walk. Luckily, we made it back right on time for dinner. I'm serious, that was at least a 4 mile walk. That was probably my workout of the century. Then dinner came and went. Now for the most exciting part of the retreat, the talent show.
Dennis' group - They did a skit on the life of Jonathan, pretty much all these low blows to Jonathan and then they just tell him that they love him at the end.
Darin's group - Sorrie guys...i didn't really get your skit...but good job on your first time leading a group, Darin
J Chang's group - They were aight...made me laugh a little bit. But the Super Mario was kinda whack. Much kudos to Tim "Tiny" Chang...who said the very profound line of "One rice can make a difference."
Terence's group - It was decent, with the help of Marianna, who was the ultimate wildcard of the retreat. Anything that she does, the effects increase by tenfolds.
Keith's group - They did a mockery of "You're a VOH-er if..." haha...a lot of dissing on the church and the pastors, but funny. I probably thought this was the funniest skit out of all of them.
Christina's group - They did "The Little Red Riding Hood" and it was aight, with the most memorable being the P-I-Gs (pretty intelligent girls) consisting of Christina Kwan, Elizabeth, Sacha, and Megan...and David Chang being the big bad wolf (he was the MVP of this group)...But anyhow, I'm tired of hearing that this group should've won, cause first of all, the girls weren't really intelligent. Come on, you got Christina leading the pack. Plus, she dresses as a gangster in every skit. And then there is Joe Ko...come on, need I say more. I do give my thumbs up to Uncle Greg though, he did a good job. But they know, and everyone else knows, that red team was definitely the best. haha...just joking with the stuff about the girls and Christina...but I was serious on the stuff on Joe Ko.
Evangeline's Group (The Invincible Red Team) - Our group consisted of drama and humor...with the highlight being Evangeline crying. People are stupid when they say that if Evangeline didn't cry in the skit, we wouldn't have won...you can't say it like that, cause that's like taking an important part of a skit and saying that if that wasn't in it, it wouldn't be good. Evangeline crying was all a part of the big plan. But for me, the toughest part would have to be being married to Evangeline in the skit, and actually getting down on my knees to apologize for her and putting the ring on the finger again...And I can't laugh out loud the entire time...which was really hard.
Anyhow, for a more in depth description of the talent show, check Steph's blog.
After the talent show, we had an amazing message and worship, with people praying for each other, and people weeping left and right. It's times like that when I feel sorry for people who don't know God.
Anyhow, that night just kinda went by...except when those P-I-G girls stopped me when I was walking by myself to the meeting hall to try to make me sing cause I broke a rule...but I'm too much man for them to force me to do anything...haha. Also, Oliver kept a lot of people up that night too...cause he was just running around and making noise...until Josiah put him in his spot and made him go to sleep.
Day 3
During the sharing time that we had, Christina said the most infamous line at the retreat that consists of a part that says "Evangeline and Chris are 'making love'"...which made me kinda embarassed...cause Christina is a such a stupid girl...I curse you and hope you end up dating that James guy.
"We've achieved our goal of 'Not 1 but 2gether,' but now we have to start working '2gether as 1." - Me
So yeah, we just kinda packed and took a bunch of pictures on the 3rd day.
On the way back though, Steph tried to race everyone on the road, which includes Darin, Jonathan, and me. Jonathan just kinda let her go, but me and Darin beat her and we weren't even trying to race. Once we past her up, we were just like whatevers...but she actually arrived back at church like 10 min. after us. Haha...I guess it's just natural for me to beat Steph. (more on that story in another entry).
All in all, it was a good retreat...considering how short it was
Pictures should be up later
Let me try if this picture thing works...
Here is a picture of Christina Kwan at her best
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Monday, June 02, 2003
For some odd reason, I could not update at home last nite...so I ditched half of my boring econ class anc came to the lab to update.
Last nite was absolutely amazing...So it was the nite before my b-day, and Sarah, Yvonne, and Steph planned a special dinner for me at Black Angus with pretty much all of EPIC and a BASIC member...hehe. Anyhow, I never expected that many people.
Here is a list of people that were there: Me, Sarah, D-Lo, Steph, Abraham, Josiah, D. Chang, Ben Chan, Benny, Stephen, JonaChan, Cynthia, J Chang, Dennis, Keith, Dave, Yvonne, Alice, and Metrina.
I've got to say...you guys did quite a good job. Even though the dinner itself was not a surprise anymore, I was surprised at how many people showed up just for little old me. I know that the Susans, Benson, William, Yosh, and Elaine couldn't be there...but it's okay...cause either you guys would've gone if the dinner was on Saturday or that you gave me a gift. So I know that you guys care..
Okay, back to the dinner. it was just really cool cause like I get to be the main guy and be the reason that everyone is at that dinner. It makes me feel very special. My content level is pretty off the charts rite now. I don't usually count my blessings everyday, but if I tried to count the ones from last nite, I wouldn't be able to, cause they're countless...and also priceless. This is going down as one of my best birthday memories EVER!!!
A few people that I would like to say something to:
Sarah: Thank you for everything, babe. I'm so glad we're at where we're at rite now. You've been such a great friend to me through this past year or so, but especially in the last month. Finally, digging me out of my spiritual/emotional funk, hanging out with me, getting me the cool Sonicflood CD, and just knowing how to comfort me and making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you very much, SAR. luv ya...
Steph: Before last nite, I really thought you forgot about me...that we're going through that phase where we're kinda distant until something bad happens to you, and i come back in to comfort you. But I realized after last nite that our friendship has reached a level beyond that. That even though we might not have talked for a few weeks, we're still close to each other and will still always be there for each other. Just so you know, I slept with Apple last nite, but I think I kicked her off the bed in the middle of the nite. I found her on the floor when I woke up. But yeah, thanx for everything.
Ben Chan: Rough start we got off to, eh. I mean, for awhile, even after we were "cool" with each other, I still think there was this barrier there between me and you, where i might say all the things I would normally say cause I didn't know how you would take it, or I would feel weird just hanging out with you after EPIC. But lately, I think we've made a lot of progress. That barrier that I spoke of is not there anymore and I'm really glad that you and I can appreciate each other and talk to each other now. Thank you for coming last nite even though you were dying.
Benny: You are always so helpful, man. Most obvious is the car stuff. Besides that, there are a lot of other stuff you help out with too. Take the beach for example, I wouldn't have been able to pull it off without you helping me out to plan it. And also just taking pictures of everything and everyone so these memories will not just fade away in our minds. And buying me that wonderful cheesecake. Benny, you're a really sweet guy, not only to the girls, but to everyone. Thank you for behind a bro.
Okay, I gotta go meet up with my family for dim sum now...but before I leave, I would like to announce what my favorite gift was...
Nemo the fish...this is for personal reasons. I was thinking last nite, and I think the fish will teach me commitment and discipline. I have to commit my time to clean and feed the fish to keep it alive at least for the summer. I have to have spirtitual commitment and discipline in my life. I need to be committed to getting back in shape for the summer. So i can apply this "taking care of the fish" thing to a lot of areas in my life.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Finally, after a few months of not updating my blog, I don't think anyone reads this anymore. I guess now it can finally just be my PERSONAL journal.
I don't know. I have been really bummed out lately...esp. the last few weeks. It's like the kind of depression that no one can see it when they hang out with you, but when you're alone, you know deep inside that something is wrong. I know a fear of mine that might even be bigger than my fear of mice. I think I'm starting to develop a fear of being alone. I feel like I have no close friends anymore, you know. People just come and go, I can never depend on like a single friend. In moments of weakness, there is no one to talk to. All i can do is just hide in my room and go online and play with my PS2 and hope that everything will just go away. I feel like after investing all this time into church the past few years, I came out with nothing. My high school friends and I have all drifted apart, and no matter what Jonathan says about how he doesn't fit in to our high school group, I think I am actually the one that doesn't fit. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the source of problems and the source of drama. And I feel like I have put so many things before my high school friends the last few years that I don't even deserve them as friends. Moving on to college friends, I don't think I have more than 3 friends that I talk to on a normal basis, outside of EPIC. And probably not even one that I can call a close friend. I feel like if it wasn't for my commitment to church the past couple of years, I could be living a regular college life with normal college friends. To family now, I don't think anyone in my family even understands me and the stuff that is going on. I always thought moms were supposed to know everything about their kids, like they can see past all of their masks and stuff, but that is certainly not the case. The only thing that my family does is nag, nag, and nag. Do this, do that, translate this letter for me, don't ditch school, blah, blah, blah. I'm tired of their shit. I'm tired of everyone's shit. My brain is about to blow up.
So I guess the only thing I supposedly have left is my church friends. But honestly, who is really there for Chris Leung? I feel like I'm just a guy that people know on Sunday. McKay, Jonathan, Stephanie, Sarah...supposedly my closest friends in church, probably doesn't even talk to me more than 2 times during the weekdays total...even if we do talk, it's just a bunch of "how is your day...what are you doing" kinda talk, and most of the time, I have initiate these talks too. I don't know...some people might think I'm a bad friend or what not, but I can honestly say that I have tried very hard to become people's friends. I feel like every friend that I have, I have pretty much had to earn them.
I know that every close friend that I've had the past years, even if i don't talk to them much, I would still think about them a lot in the back of my mind. People like McKay, Jon, Steph, Sarah, Frank, Jaime, Cathy, Phoebe, and even Wilson...but I reallly wonder if they even think about how I'm doing once in awhile. I fee like such a minute part in everyone's life...maybe even my parents. My significance at church has greatly diminished in the past half a year or so. Now, I reevaulate where my life is, and I feel like I have nothing...nothing to hold on to, no friends, no purpose.
Sometimes, I just wish that someone would put more into a relationship with me than I do with them.
Okay, enough complaining...there I go again, I have to put my mask back on, and get ready to be a happy Chris tomorrow at church and be everyone's clown again.
Friday, February 21, 2003
Wow...finally here...the last day of work...only 10 min. left. I can't believe it...the past 11 months has been crazy. I'm not gonna be able to get used to having all this free time. The money won't be there anymore, but I'm happy. Happy that I'll have the freedom that I once possessed. Happy that I can just relax and be a college kid again. Happy that I am normal just like everyone else. Anyhow, thank you God for getting me this job and supporting me financially throughout. I remember when i first starting working, I was in a lot of debt, but now that is all behind me. It is all because of the grace of God. Thank you Auntie Sophia for referring me to your boss who knows my boss so that I can get this job. So now it's finally time to go...time to turn off this computer for the last time...time for Sam to take over my job...time for a new chapter in my life.
Monday, January 06, 2003
Blah blah blah...Alice is bored...so she wanted me to update my blog.
I'm glad I went to the retreat...it was such an amazing experience. I just hope I can keep the breakthrough in my walk and also continue to have breakthroughs in walk.
Medals for farting
Gold - Stephen
Silver - Josiah
Bronze - Elaine
I feel really bad about the last session though. I knew that kinda fell asleep towards the end of it, but I heard that my mouth was wide open and I was snoring a bit too. Kinda an embarassing situation.
Sleding was really fun though. It was my first time playing in snow...such a wonderful experience. Lucky we got it all on tape. But this one time Jonathan told me to put all my weight up front on the sled. I was kinda hesitant to do it in the beginning, but since everyone told me to do it, cause they said it'll be better for me, so i did it. Stupid people...I ended up landing right on my neck and my whole body is banged up now. Oh well, I'll get over it.
Overall, I really love this retreat...even though I was a little bugged out by someone...but it's okay...it was very cool. If I have to describe the retreat in one sentence, it would be:
Stick game, Stick game, Stick game, I can play the stick game, can you??
Steph, just cause we got into a little argument doesn't mean that I didn't love you at the time...hehe
Happy belated birthday, Esther...I called you on Friday already, so yes, I did remember.
I'm quitting on Valentine's Day, i think...but there is a slight chance that I'll quit a week later...cause the monday after valentine's day is a paid holiday
I wanna lead worship once again, and be more involved at church...not like I'm not involved enough already. But yes, Chris Leung will make a return to the church front by March.
I can also visit different schools and universities once I quit work, cause I'll have so much free time.
Evangeline, I hope you never feel dafjdlsjfasdj again...but I'm not sure if i can never feel sdaflkjlasj again as long as I keep in touch with you...hehe...j/k You're adorable, doofus.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
If I am really that pissed off, would I have ended my entry on the subject the way that I did? But it sounds like that you're more bugged out by it than me. Evangeline and I are cool, so I don't know what you're still tripping about. I don't know...I'm not gonna comment on this subject anymore cause it's completely out of control now. All I'm saying is, no one is really mad except for you, which is kinda funnie. No, I'm not going to write all your secrets out on my blog. That was only an example of what could happen if I can just write anything I want on my blog. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I do that too. I guess you have the option of talking to me and having everything cool again, or you can stay the way you are now, all defensive and annoyed. Think back on our friendship, Steph. The past years that we've been through...if you really feel like that this issue is worth more than all of that, then I guess you can stay mad.
Monday, December 30, 2002
That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard, Steph. If you are going to say something on your blog or Evangeline's blog, then you should at least make it direct. Anyhow, so if i feel like putting all your deep dark secrets onto my blog, does that mean I have the right to do so? Just because you have a sudden urge to write something on a "PUBLIC" website, does not give you the right to do so.
"but you may not dictate what i put down. these are my own thoughts, my own happenings, my own life."
It's funny how you say that, Steph...cause you dictate every aspect of your siblings' lives...ms. puppet master...you're gay, but i still love you.
Evangeline, you don't have to take the convo. off your blog, but you will have to be very careful that you don't say the wrong thing to me next time you talk to me.
*breathing room*
Chris McKay got me a GAP sweater...thank you, guy. You're cool.
Thanx Tat and Rub for all the food in Vegas, especially the $150 a piece Kobe beef.
Grrrrrrrr...too bugged out to blog anymore...maybe later...bye
